My Heart Outside Myself...: I've been a bad... Blogger.

I'm not good at waking up on time.

I'm not punctual at all.

I can hardly remember where I take my flip-flops off!

Sometimes if it wasn't for the cold weather, I'd probably forget to put pants on if I went outside! =]

How am I supposed to keep up with a blog everyday?

Oh don't get me wrong, I READ the blogs I Follow, Everyday!

But post my own, forget about it!

I do catch myself sitting there thinking of titles and exactly what I'm going to "blogplain" about when I'm upset or when I'm elated, but then I go outside with my Neighbor Friends, & have my nightly Starbucks Picnic Table Therapy, and complaining to them helps me so much that I don't feel the urge to blog it all down! =]

I thank you guys so much for listening to me whine & complain!

I haven't been myself lately.

I'm over emotional, I've been getting upset over EVERY little thing. I'm exhausted.

I haven't slept well at all in about a week. Everyday like clock work, I am up before the sun. I kind of get restless at 2:00am-2:45am and then I feel like I'm sleeping extremely well, & I'm up at 4:15am-4:30am wide awake! I just lay there with my eyes shut tight hoping I will fall back to sleep. I keep checking the clock and the last I see is about 5:45am-6:00am. Till my alarm is blaring at 7:00am. I snooze, snooze, snooze til 7:20 and then get out of bed. My body hurts, I have a headache, my eyes are blurry, I feel like its bedtime, when its time to start my day! Could this be a little bit of a case of Insomnia? What can I do to fall asleep and stay asleep?

Krystle says there is probably something on my mind. Shes probably right. Although I try so hard not to think about it, to the point where I'm thinking, I'm not thinking about it. I'm still thinking about it. Ha ha, insanity!

I just stress. I have nothing to stress over! I have a man that loves me & puts up with my craziness & attitude. I have 2 beautiful healthy children that can ALWAYS put a smile on my face. I have more than most, less than some. What could stress me?

My daily duties? Pssh yes. It's ridiculous, because I signed on for it. I fought for my right to stay at home with my children and be the homemaker! Domestic Goddess is what I like to refer to myself as! =]

I just feel a little overwhelmed lately. I'm sure I'll fall back into the ease of it.

I mean... I clean the house EVERY day. Toys strewn about, I'm constantly picking up the same things and thinking, "Gosh, didn't I just put this back?" I do a load or two of laundry every day. I'm usually good about folding it right out of the dryer and putting it away, but I've been slacking on that department the last 2 days, maybe I'll conquer that hurdle today. It is only one laundry basket full, not too much YET.

Dishes never end. If we eat, which we have to eat, there is dishes. Of course I cook pretty much every day so there is ALWAYS a dish in the sink. Today and tomorrow are left over days. Wednesday we had Meatloaf, So tonight will be leftover meatloaf! That saves me from cooking too much! =] Last night we had BBQ Hamburgers, so Saturday night we will have Leftover burgers! Unfortunately, I do not know how too cook for other than an army so I've had leftovers the last few days. Sometimes I'm really good about making just enough, other times I don't even think about it and I could feed my whole apartment complex!

I help my daughter with her home work, while entertaining a 19 month old. Feed and bathe them both, get them in Pajamas, read bedtime stories, tuck them in. These things, are my favorite things to do in the day. It is as if its my only relaxing time, which it pretty much is. I'm winding the kids down from the day, which in turn is winding myself down too.

My neighbor Krystle takes a warm bath every night before bed, I too should try that! That's probably why shes not on the verge of a nervous breakdown like I am every day at the end of the night! Shes got 3 of the sweetest most active boys I have ever known. I've always wondered how she keeps her sanity. I see her with her kids and she always seems so calm, cool & collected. HOW does she do it? I only have 2 and I feel like pulling my hair out. She is definitely a Super Mom!

My neighbor Lori too. Shes got 3 also. Shes still sane. On top of working full-time, doing all the chores I complain about, having 2 teenagers & a 4 year old, she still manages to keep a clean house, have dinner on the table every night and come outside and listen to me vent. She too is definitely a Super Mom!

I just feel kind of like, Eh my kids are alive & breathing at the end of the day, so I must have done something right, right? =]

So today is Friday, I love Fridays. It means I don't have homework duty for the next 3 days, It means I don't have to get up, scramble for school clothes, pack snacks, find matching socks & shoes, or remember to pick my daughter up from school on time! Ha ha!

It also means, the hubby will be home, the kids will not follow their daily schedule because their dad is home. It means I will have a houseful of 4 people for the next 2 days, it also means I will have a laundry room full of laundry, and a sink full of dishes, and a floor full of toys and an ear full of yap yap yaps! That's just fine though.. Then Monday comes to the rescue! Oh wait, I don't like Mondays because that's the start of the week, school, homework, dinner curfews, bedtime! AHHHHHH! Life's a vicious cycle, its never ending, but you still got to keep on keeping on!

No matter how much I complain or stress or CRY, Still...

I love my crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life! <3

I will leave you with pictures of my loves!