The fog is rolling in very eerily on this damp, chilly evening. I'm sitting outside, bundled in my pjs, a hoodie and boots, chain smoking!
This is my time!
The kids are in bed, resting their silly little heads. The husband as well, as he has to be up at 3:30am for work.
I am at peace, believe it or not! I made some amends with a friend this week. We had a falling out a few months ago. He's an asshole, I'm an asshole, sometimes that happens with the clash of the clans. He sent me an apology message and I accepted. It's nice to forgive and move on. I feel like I'm rely adulting now! Haha.
Too often we take for granted, people and relationships in our lives. We hold on to stupid, petty things and turn a mole hill into a mountain! Why? It's ridiculous. Not worth it. Life is too short.
Last week my mother and I had a tiff. We stopped talking for a week. My mother and I are so much alike, we fight like sisters. We have very loose boundaries as we pretty much grew up together. She was a 16 year old teen mom. We learned how to live and love from each other, as she didn't have much of a mom. Therein lies the sisterly bond and fighting. Sometimes I feel like I want a real mom, one that knows the boundaries between a mother and child, one that keeps opinions of negativity to themselves and let's their child learn the hard way. Then I realize, I have a real, really great mother, I talk to her daily, we tell each other almost everything, we support each other, talk shot to each other, fight and forgive and still love each other unconditionally. I wouldn't change that for the world. I have friends who rarely talk to or see their moms and it's no big thang to them, I can't live that way. My mother-daughter relationship, just doesn't work that way.
So I sit here, at peace with today. Rebuilt a friendship, reconciled a relationship with my mom, my house is "clean" enough to me!
I say to me, because some of you may cringe!
My empty sink! Boo yah!
My less chaotic living room! Yeah!
I have 3 kids, it can't be immaculate, but what it can be is lived in & loved in! It's cozy, and full of love and laughter and the smell of questionable diapers at times.. There's tears, and toys and stress over homework. There's spilled sippy cups and Cheerios strung about, in no particular way...
Normally I stress and get overwhelmed with the cleaning and keeping. I am trying to manage my time and use my tools (capable children), to help keep the house running smoothly. We have adapted room cleaning into our nightly bedtime routines, so I don't feel stressed about the kids having a messy room all week and then putting it off til the weekend, then having a busy weekend and the mess building upon itself for another week. No.
Laundry is still never ending. I am working my ass off to wash and dry and fold each load instead of letting it pile up! Dishes are like laundry! But I have been staying on top of those lately too, and I have an empty sink before I go to bed now! I've tried to go to bed one night, as I was hurt because I slipped and fell and busted my ass. So I was in pain. My friend told me I earned the night off from dishes and could do them in the morning. That irked me! I didn't want to wake up to a new day and deal with yesterday's mess! So I got up and handled that shit before bed!
Every day is a new day and it is what you make it! Shit does happen, but you know what, it depends on how you handle it! Handle it with grace and positivity and hats what it becomes! Handle it was stress and negativity and it will eat you alive! Today I may be at peace, and tomorrow I plan on the same thing, but you never know! I'm just grateful to be ending this day in peace and relaxation and chattering teeth and an empty sink! 😘💋❤️
